So I've been trying to figure out a way to write about my personal life without becoming too personal and bitter but I don't think it's going to work. Whenever I write about my experiences I vow to give it my all with some of my best friends knowing who I'm talking about or what not. Anyways, I'm here to say that chivalry is on life support. It's officially an endangered species. Why is that? FYI, any time a man shows emotion and reveals his true feelings about a situation he is looked upon as bitter. So please keep up the notion. (Sarcasm)
My man Quinn was intrigued by what I posted on my status and here is the answer I gave him:
Basically a man cannot continue to be chivalrous when women are not receptive nor reciprocate the actions. I don't think women realize how much we are sacrificing in terms of time, money, and all that extra stuff.
Okay let's rewind a little bit. I love women. I love being surrounded by women. I was always taught to treat women with respect and to be a gentleman. The two most important people in my life are my mother and my sister. But no one told me that women were going to take my heart, rip it out, shred it into pieces in the nicest way possible. And I say the nicest way possible because women find the easiest, calmest, soothing way to reject you so that you don't hate them. In modern time, the definition of being chivalrous is basically acting like a gentleman. Chivalrous being courteous and gallant, especially towards women. And what is the purpose of being chivalrous towards women?
Other than getting the drawers, it's about the courting process. It's about wining and dining. It's about showing an interest in a kind way. For example, man meets woman, he shows an interest in her, takes her out, pays for dinner, share a couple of late night texts, agree to meet again, takes her out again to more expensive restaurant (her choice) proceeds to find out she's seeing someone. First gun shot wound.
Second example, man meets woman through friend, have somewhat of interest in each other via looks, agree to meet at wine bar, eat food, drink nice wine. Late night text, nothing crazy. Man hits woman up just to say hello, woman proceeds to say she's not interested romantically and just wants to be friends. Bitch, all he said was hello, how are you doing?! And she did it on a sunday. That's God's day.
Third example, man meets woman through friend, man is swooning, admires her and is nervous around her although she does not know as of yet. Go out to eat, hang out, man pays of course. Man attempts to hang out again but gets stop sign. Woman is not interested. First gun shot wound. Man still respects and admires woman. Woman ends up at man's birthday festivities. Man gets excited, alcohol influenced so he thinks he has an in again. Man gives woman 6 to 7 hugs goodbye. Man and woman go to concert a week later because man's friends are trying to play match maker. Man and woman go to eat again. Man writes handwritten note, sends it to woman. (Yeah who the fuck writes a note!) Man is a person whom woman thinks is fun to hang out and that's all. Gun shut wound on the same spot as the first one. (Try doing the third example with no phone involved)
Now in each of these examples which I'm clearly the man, I did not disrespect any woman. I did not call anyone a bitch. I respected each and every single one of them. But what does that do to my future attempts when I attempt to court a woman. Do I even court a woman in the respectful manner that I usually do? There are times when I just want to walk up to a female and say "What that mouth do?!" and see what happens. Yes that's pretty extreme but I'm on that road and I want to get off of it. Even when I try to look back at these situations I think of what's wrong. Am I ugly? Nope. Was it bad breath? Nope. Did I curse too much? Ehhhh, could be but whatever. That's just courting. I would love to know what I'm doing wrong or what other men are doing wrong so that we can fix it and continue to be chivalrous.
And yes I know acting with chivalry does not only mean getting in the panties. I have a lot of female friends. I hang out with them a lot. When we go out I'm usually paying for drinks and whatever. It's not because I want something in return but I just do it. It's in my nature. Do I have money growing on trees somewhere? Nope. I think when you look deeper at some of these situations I mentioned above there are some moments in which I know that the woman does not have any funds to even pay for anything that I'm offering. When I overhear someone looking at their bank account to make sure they have money there's no way I'm going to make someone pay. But women should think about that. Not to just lay down and give in, but really take some time to understand what type of sacrifice we were making and what predicaments we were putting ourselves in. Money is a sensitive issue and it will always be. But I like to spend it on things and people that make me happy. Maybe a little too much. Maybe so much that my own card is getting denied at a restaurant a week later because I wanted to make sure the woman was taken care of. I'll pay knowing that a woman does not have a secure job. Working from "home" and not really having something stable means you're not making a lot of money. I understand. But don't take advantage of a man.
With all these punches that men are taking, chivalry will eventually become endangered and then extinct. All the good men are going to turn into assholes and all the bad men are going to keep being bad. And yes, at this present moment I blame women for being assholes. No one wants to call out females for the fuckery they commit but I'll gladly do it. I always hear about women doing stupid shit, acting up, just being fools. And it's not until too late that you realize that you missed an opportunity at a good thing. Until I hear a good argument I'll gladly stick with this one.
What do you think? Is chivalry almost extinct because of women? Do men need to step it up? Who's fault is it? Who is to blame? Shed some light. I'll leave you with this song by Switch. I don't know what it is about this song but I was jamming it hard for a week straight at least.