OH YEA!!!!!!!!! I'm back..I feel kind of refreshed after not coming through in the clutch...It's the
article baybeh!! No time for apologizing, no time for sad stuff...Just go in there like swimwear...
You see that title?! You see that scary ass looking monster right there...Well this was the picture that showed up when I searched "little things" on Google images...
(By the way I just got red lined for not putting an upper case on the G of google...aint that some shit...That red line is like "Bitch, get your ass back here and fix that mistake.") Well I'm here today to write about some of the little things that bother the iGoon...Yup...Little things...You know, those things that you noticed and say "ewww" or "damn brother" or make some kind of remark to yourself and keep it in your head as a memorable moment...Well here we go...
Picking Your NoseAite...cool...that's fine you want to pick for gold all day but do that shit in secret...I've seen people find gold..maybe take a nibble or two, wipe it on their clothes, and then all of a suddent want to come give me a five or touch my shit...Get outta here with that shit...
Open SneezeThere is no such thing as not knowing when you're about to sneeze...So in the meanwhile, cover that shit up..I hate when people sneeze in the open air and then spread all their nasty snot and germs my way...Use your hands, then go wash them...
ToesWhy are you playing with your toes?! Going in between for those toe jams...What the fuck?! That shit is nasty...Go do that somewhere else...not in my presence...
EarsHomeboy carved that part of the ear where there might be some dirt and then proceeded to lend me a pencil...I told him I was good and that I didn't want a pen..well he offered me a pencil...nah I like to write with crayons...Take your ear dirt somewhere else...
CPTWe all know what that means..For those that do not know "Colored People Time." It's something that we black folks have a hard time conquering...Stop starting all these events so fucking late..If you're starting at 7 then start at 7...I'm too old for waiting nowadays...I got a schedule...You think I want to be waiting for your ass..
Wash HandsI swear to GOD!!
(I don't mean to use his name like that...) But the next time I see someone not wash their hands after pee pee and even doo doo then I'm slapping them on the back of their heads...I've seen this too much...And then to find out that girls do the same too..Ewww...I mean, my penis is clean but when I'm shaking I may get a drip or two on my finger...And I know when we're wiping our asses some doodoo gets on the finger cause we underestimated the amount of toilet paper we had...hahaha...Just use some soap and water...
FartClaim it...If you did it, dont't let us sit here trying to wonder who the fuck did it because it's annoying..I want to know where else to go instead of following the farter...Also, don't fart in elevators, you will get rocked and someone will come in asking what the fuck happened...
TextDon't text me to have a long ass convo that could be finished in 2 minutes...You text me with all these questions like I have a freaking text plan meant for your text messages...Call me, answer that shit in 1 minute and go on with life...Make it personal and impersonal...You feel me...
Pee On SeatI live with 7 other dudes...Not all of them have completed their home training...These niggas
(and yes I say niggas) leave a fucking pee mark right on the toilet seat...And not just in the back some where but right there I have to sit down and shit...Goodness...What happened to aiming? What happened to putting the toilet seat up? I feel like leaving a drop on their faces and see what happens...
FlushFlush right after you shit...The smell won't linger for that long...It's like people want to sit in their smell before they say "Mmmmmm...that smelled bad"
ChargeIn basketball...Pick up basketball...who the fuck calls a charge in pick up basketball?
BreathYour breath stinks..You have to know...I know when my breath stinks and I try to take care of it as soon as I know..Carry some gum, carry some mints, eat something fruity...But it doesn't give you any right to have wack ass breath all the time...There's one dude I have class with that rocks me every time his mouth opens
(pause) and I'm just going to have to pull him to the side and let him know
Eating LoudlyStop chewing like a fucking cow...Really..take your time, chew like the human being that you are...
ElevatorWhy are you taking the elevator one floor up or down...Is something wrong with your leg? Like for real...During peak hours and rush hours
(like going to class and stuff) don't mess up the elevator flow...People have been getting away with for too long..Let's do something about it..
Sharing DrinksShe just finished sucking someone down...he just finished eating her up...and now he wants a taste of your Fanta
(my favorite drink) Just be mindful of who you are letting drink from you...Sharing is caring but not when it's daring.....to your life...
Awkward MoleThis might be mean but some people have moles on their faces that look ugly...Get some surgery...Does growing hair from a mole constitute it as being cute? Not for me..Cause what if I touch the mole one day by accident and then grow one myself...Goodness...Now let me just say that I am not talking about sexy ass moles/birthmarks...we know when it looks pretty on a girl..I have nothing to say for dudes...
DancingIf you can't dance, learn..simple..You fail in my book if you can't catch a beat...I saw someone this past weekend who's grinding game was embarrassing..I won't name names but goodness...
ScreenWhy are you putting your hands on my computer screen homie? You messing up the resolution or whatever computer term that fits here...
PillowDon't come in my room and sit on my pillow..I have to put my face there...Come to think about it, if you haven't changed your pillow case in a while go do so..now..You got time..iGoon is looking out for you...Just move the pillow and sit down...
HandkerchiefSo you're going to wipe your nose with the same napkin 50 times? For real? haha..Come on now...You wipe some snot and booger off the first time and then insert them right back in on the second try..It's disgusting...
Whew...I'm done...Now I know everyone is not perfect..Even the iGoon has done some of these "little things" and they can all be fixed if we stop and think for a while..Stop and perfect my aim on the toilet seat...stop using the elevator one floor up...stop eating loudly..I'm just trying to put it out there...Do you have any things that fall under this category? If so please share and if not, then pick out your favorite one and leave a comment..I'm sure there are stories and other noticeable "little things." Thanks for reading..
